Ambica Agarwal, a certified NLP Practitioner, recently took to Instagram to address the two main reasons why kids often become angry. Not just that, she also discusses the ways parents can deal with their child’s anger issues. Let us start by discussing the two major reasons for anger issues in kids.
‘Unmet needs’
According to the expert, unmet needs is one of the primary reasons behind a kid’s anger issues.
Unmet needs are needs that have not been fulfilled or overlooked or neglected. For most children, becoming angry or throwing a tantrum is often a way of expressing their discontentment. It is how they communicate their dissatisfaction.
As per the expert, parents often misunderstand as ‘jaan booj ke pareshan kar raha hai’ (deliberately annoying). However, she believes that’s not the case.
‘Lack of power’
Another reason behind anger issues in kids is ‘lack of power,’ meaning having no say or authority over what they want. This can be particularly distressing for children as they have a lot to express but sometimes do not have the words to communicate it. And so they express it in the form of anger and tantrums.
Parents often think that kids, by becoming angry, are trying to boss around and are freaking out due to frustration – again untrue, as per the expert.
How to respond?
Ambica, who is a mother herself, recommends staying calm and not responding in the same tone as the kid.
She writes: “Don’t react in anger or take their behaviour personally.”
That said, here’s what she advises parents to do instead…
– Identify their triggers
– Ignore minor negative behaviour
– Give them some power to choose
– Teach appropriate behaviour when they are calm
