The way we are brought up in life affect the adult relationships in later stages of life. From how we behave in difficult situations to the way we treat our near and dear ones, are all impacted by the upbringing we receive in our childhood. When people are born and brought up in dysfunctional homes, our bodies automatically go into the fight or flight mode in difficult situations. Hence, we are not able to clearly see the situation and respond in a healthy manner to it. But what happens when we are brought up in healthy homes with clear boundaries which is respected by each person of the family? Addressing that, Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders wrote, “Talking about a home with boundaries means talking about a home that has structure (limitations are clear), offers containment *and* space, provides safety, and has appropriate familial roles. This kind of environment promotes respectful relationships with self and others.”
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Emily further noted down the characteristics of homes with healthy boundaries. They are, as follows:
Privacy: privacy is honored in healthy homes. People, of all age, of the family is given the freedom of emotional and physical privacy without the fear of getting harassed for being what they are.
Clear limitations: A general rule of limitations are put in place for everyone in the family. From adults to the children of the family are made aware of the consequences and the limitations are respected.
Familial structure: A proper structure in the family is put in place. From bed time for everyone to being the head of the family to a structure that is followed by everyone, the boundaries are respected.
Bodily autonomy: Unwanted physical contact is a big no in such families, and boundaries of the bodies are abided.
Support: One of the most important characteristics of dysfunctional families is that the parents rely on children for support, which can often create emotional harm for children. In healthy families, that practice is non-existent.
Safety: From asking for help to asking to be comforted, children and adults receive appropriate nurturing and the sense of not being alone.
Age-appropriate decisions: Decisions based on the age of the person are heard and respected.
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