A relationship goes through a lot. From finding the one perfect for yourself to going through a rough patch – a relationship survives a lot to make it a long lasting one. However, in relationships, we often come across situations when two people start to give up on each other, and eventually part. Often, these situations end with people coming back to ask for another chance to set things right. These situations can get very tricky for the other person as they do not know how to take the right decision, so as to not go through the trauma they went through, before. Addressing this, Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders wrote, “The choice to give someone another chance is a tough one; you can ask for opinions from your family, friends, or coworkers- but ultimately the decision is yours.”
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Speaking of the many reasons as to why we get back in a relationship, Emily added, “Sometimes we return to a partner because we need more information about the relationship (like how it makes us feel, did they make changes, etc), but sometimes we return to old relationships because we keep re-enacting old familiar dynamics that we have gotten stuck in. (This is where we insert attachment, old family dynamics, etc).” Emily further noted down a few questions that we must ask ourselves before getting together in a relationship:
Revisit the past: The experience faced by us in the past with the same relationship can come back again. If we are ready to face it, only then we should proceed.
Plan: We must always have a plan to approach the relationship differently, since the earlier plan failed to work for us.
Expectations: The need, wants and the expectations we have from the other person and the relationship should be clearly communicated and comprehended.
Change: Chance to the same person in the relationship should be given only when they have demonstrated a positive change in themselves.
Maintained changes: We should give sufficient time to the person to maintain the change that they have incorporated in themselves.
Impact: The other person should understand the impact that they have on us, and hence take responsibility for it.
Love: Love can be a tricky thing to change the course of the relationship. We should understand if we love them or are just in love with the idea of them.
